OMG...

Why is this funny?

Where's an egg?
(I won...)

So the first story would perhaps go something like this.

Detective Head is bored with the private detection jumps at the chance to get out of the office when he discovers he's been invited to a school reunion. It turns out that every single other person he went to school with has become A) boring and B) a travel agent. Because of his most hated subject, travel and tourism. Do you see! They're all twats!

He gets on the phone to Einstein's head (I suppose there is a phone in the closet) and using the knowledge of physics tricks them all into booking customers on holidays to deep space.

Then what? Something has to go wrong. I think it might involve either the travel agents being converted to energy (Because e=mc²) and blowing the fuses.

What you say!

edit: maybe it should be called Talking Heads

Link: The If you were an 80's metal band Test written by Kidfromthe80z n.b. THIS TEST IS RUBBISH. I DON'T EVEN GET A FRIGGIN' IMAGE. CHRIST!

In other news I decided to write something about a private detective whose only confidante is a giant talking Einstein head, which he keeps in the closet. I got stuck on the name, though.

But there's no harm in trying.

OK - here's the deal. I want to get the name Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst said on-air, on BBC radio 1.

Here's what you should do.

1- Sign Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst up for any and all junk mail you can. Fill in web forms!
(you can find information on him here: http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/lord_omar_biography.html )
His e-mail address is Ravenhurst5@hotmail.com
Use whatever real-world address seems appropriate to you.

2- When signing Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst up to receive his free sample of washing powder, or asking some mailing house to send him details on their offers, leave this number as part of his details: 07770 756 408 . It is the Radio1 flirt divert number.
(more information here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/scottmills/flirtdivert.shtml )

3- Post this in your own journal, but do not say who you ganked it from. Encourage your friends, neighbours, school teachers, trusted enemies and pets to post this too.

The idea is that the radio 1 number will get innundated with calls from people offering them free soap powder, timeshare deals and new phone contracts. All in the name of Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. Eventually they'll get so pissed off that they will mention his name on air, if only to call him a sad-act or something.

4- Run away giggling, or not.

5- Rinse, wash, repeal

Anyone else get sick last night? Wondering if I got a bad pint, or if the mushy peas and chips on the way to the pub are to blame...

1. My mind is going a thousand miles an hour, like a steam train. I'm having ideas and I feel like I'm not afraid to use them.

10. That's a very fast steam train.

11. Oh, I moved onto absinthe #3, by the way.

100. The video for ELO's 'All Over The World' is very, very bad.

101. My brain is rattling.

110. R Tape Loading Error, 0:1

1. Two glasses tonight, sugar and iced water. If I do not dream tonight, I will try three glasses tomorrow night.

10. I have sunburn.

11. Let's party sometime. There is a variety of cheap greek booze available, and I feel a little out-of-the-loop. Normal service will resume soon?

100. To reiterate, I missed you guys.

101. Oh, we're also a bit crap (in a funky skillo sort of way) and didn't send postcards. Sorry! Imagine they were confiscated because they involved obscene, grossly exaggerated scenes of greek buggery. Apart from Boxit's, which involved donkeys.

110. Off to bed now I think.

The cunts are digging up the road outside my house AGAIN!

For fuck's sake, what the fuck is it this time?!

You already dug the cunt up for six weeks last November-December!

I can't park my cunting car outside my fucking house, you swining bastards!

FUCK.

Well, the fan on the motherboard did, anyhow. Comp went double apeshit and shut itself down.

I removed the broken one and glued a bigger one on the little case (dodgy!) for now.

But now I am scared to use it for long.

The worst part is that I can't just get a replacement fan, I have to replace the entire assembly. What a pain in the arse :(

Oh, and now it's 3.30am, too. Fucking clock bastards, fan bastards, cunty fucks, and arses. Grr!

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	Smoked Salmon	Well... I could eat it until it came out of my ears, but don't often get the chance except at christmas.
Literary:	Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell	I've been trying to read it for about 8 months and still haven't got past page 300. There are 1100 pages.
Audiovisual:	Max Headroom	It's different to how I remember it (more cheesy) but I still love it.
Musical:	The soundtrack to 'Saturday Night Fever'	Cheesier than a Greggs dummy. But fun.
Celebrity:	Natalie Portman	I don't know why! But before anybody gets me wrong, it wasn't 'Leon'.

Now I tag:-

boxit aquaphibian noodle_san deletia and reflex69


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I have just totally hid Lyn's poinsetta, Dougie. Because I am a git.