Ben

This is crazed:

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 22:02:52 GMT

http://peer-see.com/blog/chumble-spuzz/2006/07/09/

80s TV dicksplash

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:37:32 GMT

OMG...

pigfucker

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:33:36 GMT

question:

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 23:39:26 GMT

Why is this funny?

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 21:29:57 GMT

Where's an egg?
(I won...)

OMG

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 15:00:25 GMT

Best. Headline. Evar!!!

detective head

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 21:49:13 GMT

So the first story would perhaps go something like this.

Detective Head is bored with the private detection jumps at the chance to get out of the office when he discovers he's been invited to a school reunion. It turns out that every single other person he went to school with has become A) boring and B) a travel agent. Because of his most hated subject, travel and tourism. Do you see! They're all twats!

He gets on the phone to Einstein's head (I suppose there is a phone in the closet) and using the knowledge of physics tricks them all into booking customers on holidays to deep space.

Then what? Something has to go wrong. I think it might involve either the travel agents being converted to energy (Because e=mc²) and blowing the fuses.

What you say!

edit: maybe it should be called Talking Heads

in which [(c) Graham Linehan] i almost grow a flock of seagulls, and score 70Variable #1!

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 19:50:18 GMT

Your Score: The Misfits

You scored 70Variable #1!

Awesome!!!!

Link: The If you were an 80's metal band Test written by Kidfromthe80z

n.b. THIS TEST IS RUBBISH. I DON'T EVEN GET A FRIGGIN' IMAGE. CHRIST!

In other news I decided to write something about a private detective whose only confidante is a giant talking Einstein head, which he keeps in the closet. I got stuck on the name, though.

Probably won't do any good

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 21:35:14 GMT

But there's no harm in trying.

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 18:24:45 GMT

OK - here's the deal. I want to get the name Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst said on-air, on BBC radio 1.

Here's what you should do.

1- Sign Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst up for any and all junk mail you can. Fill in web forms!
(you can find information on him here: http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/lord_omar_biography.html )
His e-mail address is Ravenhurst5@hotmail.com
Use whatever real-world address seems appropriate to you.

2- When signing Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst up to receive his free sample of washing powder, or asking some mailing house to send him details on their offers, leave this number as part of his details: 07770 756 408 . It is the Radio1 flirt divert number.
(more information here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/scottmills/flirtdivert.shtml )

3- Post this in your own journal, but do not say who you ganked it from. Encourage your friends, neighbours, school teachers, trusted enemies and pets to post this too.

The idea is that the radio 1 number will get innundated with calls from people offering them free soap powder, timeshare deals and new phone contracts. All in the name of Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. Eventually they'll get so pissed off that they will mention his name on air, if only to call him a sad-act or something.

4- Run away giggling, or not.

5- Rinse, wash, repeal

bleah

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 07:54:19 GMT

Anyone else get sick last night? Wondering if I got a bad pint, or if the mushy peas and chips on the way to the pub are to blame...

update

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 23:58:47 GMT

1. My mind is going a thousand miles an hour, like a steam train. I'm having ideas and I feel like I'm not afraid to use them.

10. That's a very fast steam train.

11. Oh, I moved onto absinthe #3, by the way.

100. The video for ELO's 'All Over The World' is very, very bad.

101. My brain is rattling.

110. R Tape Loading Error, 0:1

absinthe

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 22:58:06 GMT

1. Two glasses tonight, sugar and iced water. If I do not dream tonight, I will try three glasses tomorrow night.

10. I have sunburn.

11. Let's party sometime. There is a variety of cheap greek booze available, and I feel a little out-of-the-loop. Normal service will resume soon?

100. To reiterate, I missed you guys.

101. Oh, we're also a bit crap (in a funky skillo sort of way) and didn't send postcards. Sorry! Imagine they were confiscated because they involved obscene, grossly exaggerated scenes of greek buggery. Apart from Boxit's, which involved donkeys.

110. Off to bed now I think.

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 17:20:50 GMT

The cunts are digging up the road outside my house AGAIN!

For fuck's sake, what the fuck is it this time?!

You already dug the cunt up for six weeks last November-December!

I can't park my cunting car outside my fucking house, you swining bastards!

FUCK.

My computer a splode :(

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 02:27:11 GMT

Well, the fan on the motherboard did, anyhow. Comp went double apeshit and shut itself down.

I removed the broken one and glued a bigger one on the little case (dodgy!) for now.

But now I am scared to use it for long.

The worst part is that I can't just get a replacement fan, I have to replace the entire assembly. What a pain in the arse :(

Oh, and now it's 3.30am, too. Fucking clock bastards, fan bastards, cunty fucks, and arses. Grr!

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 21:09:06 GMT

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	Smoked Salmon	Well... I could eat it until it came out of my ears, but don't often get the chance except at christmas.
Literary:	Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell	I've been trying to read it for about 8 months and still haven't got past page 300. There are 1100 pages.
Audiovisual:	Max Headroom	It's different to how I remember it (more cheesy) but I still love it.
Musical:	The soundtrack to 'Saturday Night Fever'	Cheesier than a Greggs dummy. But fun.
Celebrity:	Natalie Portman	I don't know why! But before anybody gets me wrong, it wasn't 'Leon'.

Now I tag:-

boxit aquaphibian noodle_san deletia and reflex69

To take this quiz, go HERE.

new camera

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 02:09:16 GMT

quiz-meme 12000

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 15:19:56 GMT

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) What is sailing_mad's favorite band/artist? I don't know! Although he likes Ginger and the Wildhearts and so on.
2) What is saiyan's shoe size? 11 or 12? Massive clodhoppers, anyhow.
3) If noodle_san and loz were spliced together, what would be its name? The MUNG-BEAST
4) Is tumblejack your best friend? Yes.
5) What do you agree with saiyan about? Beer? Most things, actually.
6) Have you flirted with purplething? Nope.
7) If deletia and purplething were siamese twins, where would they be joined? The big toe
8) Has reflex69 dyed their hair? Not to my knowledge
9) Is purplething in a relationship? Yup.
10) Is loz introverted or extroverted? Bit of both, maybe? Depends on the context.
11) How would saiyan kill tumblejack? Early morning guff-leakage.
12) What mental disorder does loz remind you of? Tourette's
13) How tall is kerochan? About six feet-ish, as I recall. bit taller maybe.
14) Would you make out with purplething? I think several people would get upset if I did!
15) Does kerochan have a big secret? So big, I don't know if it exists.
16) Where was noodle_san born? Heh! Wallsend!
17) What animal should tumblejack be combined with? Definitely a cat. For the snooze capabilities.
18) Does boxit travel a lot? Far too much. He's almost never home.
19) One quality you find attractive in purplething? Not afraid to try new things.
20) Which of your friends should aquaphibian go out with? Err... Purplething!
21) Would loz and reflex69 look good together? In a cop show, perhaps, but only if it was entitled "ginger and the ninja"
22) What video game does boxit remind you of? Salad Avoider?
23) Do you have a crush on purplething? Nah. Surely she would just find that odd, anyway.
24) loz's hair color? Strawb... ok, ok. Ginge!
25) Do deletia and noodle_san go to the same school? Used to, I believe.
26) Is tumblejack a college student? Insofar as college equals university, yes.
27) What would loz think of aquaphibian? Definitely thinks he's a gimp. ho ho!
28) Is noodle_san an emo? Er, nah.
29) What is noodle_san's favorite movie? Fight Club. He starred in it, ya know.
30) Could you see noodle_san and boxit together? Perhaps if I was at the pub at the same time as them, I'd see them together. Not in *that* way, though.
31) What song/movie would you recommend to aquaphibian? song/movie? Either Ghostbusters or Shaft, both were songs and movies.
32) Is loz a high school student? Nope.
33) What would you do if aquaphibian died? Get together with our friends and drink beer in his honour.
34) How many monkeys could sailing_mad fight at once and win against? at least seven, but probably less than twenty. Unless they had knives, of course.
35) Are kerochan and loz going steady? Ehhh... no.
36) What color should purplething dye their hair? Brightest heliotrope.
37) Does reflex69 drink? I should think so. It gets kind of hot over there.
38) What is deletia's biggest flaw? Crumbs, what a question. I'd have to say that I don't know.
39) Is noodle_san popular? I think so!
40) When did you last call purplething? Few months ago, thing it was to organise some beer...
41) Would kerochan be a better ninja or pirate? Pirate. He's a bit tall to be a ninja, I reckon.
42) Is saiyan single? Sometimes.
43) Where would purplething most like to visit? Probably america, I imagine.
44) Is saiyan related to aquaphibian? Nope. Don't let the smell fool you.
45) Does sailing_mad go to your school? Nope. I don't have a school, and neither does he.
46) What word best describes kerochan? Smart.
47) Has saiyan been to your house/dorm? Yep, a couple of times.
48) What is kerochan's favorite color? I haven't the foggiest.
49) What would kerochan give reflex69 for his/her birthday? Anime, I reckon.
50) How would tumblejack conquer the world? Definitely by sapping the world's natural resources in a quest for the ideal pair of shoes.

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 00:41:55 GMT

I have just totally hid Lyn's poinsetta, Dougie. Because I am a git.

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 20:22:55 GMT

<td align="center">

What's yours?</td>

Here comes a new challenger!!

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 22:56:51 GMT

They've stuck a new speed-measuring thingy up the road from here - I can't find a picture but it's the sort that flashes your speed as you go past (And blinks if you're above the speed limit)

... it only goes up to 45mph ... Bloody useless, I tell you.

Today

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 10:51:26 GMT

I have mostly been telling sales people to call back a man who doesn't exist on September 31st.

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 19:32:50 GMT

dear terrorists

please stop bombing shit. it's starting to bore me. it's a hot day, and i really can not be fucked with you right now.

love
ben

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 00:42:50 GMT

ho ho!

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 09:32:50 GMT

Well, that didn't take long.